Last night marked the first night that Benji got to hit the town and go wild, and fucking oath did it deliver. Kyle, Yank, Benji and me hit the town at about 10.30pm after getting a lift in by Yank's law abiding brother. The trip in was good, swigging the highly concentrated vodka and orange juice mix and listening to random techno beats and other shit.

We got dropped off at the Mustang Bar, oh I how I heart that place and although the night started quiet, it filled up by the time we left at 5am. We started the night with a round of Long Island Iced Tea, in which I finished in about tminus 30 seconds, haha. We then sunk a few games of pool and I think Yank's team won every time, pure coincidence as far as I'm concerned. After pool is where the fun began, firstly me and Kyle with our charm got two Canadian Clubs on the house (The Group Free Drink Count (TGFDC): 2). Too damn good I say. Yank and I then got approached by these two females claiming that our shirts where the same, which was crap, but we blew their lame cover and knew they just wanted pants. I think my final line to them was "Tell you what, keep drinking, find us on the floor later and then tell us if they are the same". Haha. We stuck around the Mustang for awhile longer, dancing and just doing stuff, then I met Simon.

Simon had previously banged one of the bar chicks, so was keen to offer his services as a free drink getter. At first I was off with him to go get myself another free Canadian Club, but then I palmed Yank onto Simon, I'd already had one freebie, time to spread the love. Give it about 5 minutes, and Yank comes back with a free drink, that's gold (TGFDC: 3). We just hung at the bar for a bit, then Yank and I meet up with Mark. Mark was a metro business man or something, and after getting us free drinks (TGFDC: 5), was kicked out for repeatedly calling the bartender babe. It was a Sambucca shot, so I downed it fast to avoid the taste, it wasn't even on fire! Benji then claimed TGFDC to be 6, but in reality he just got a tip from some chick for buying her a drink. Well done champion.

After taking Benji and Kyle's photo underneath the Canadian Club sign and meeting up with g0t.leg?, we pissed off to Macca's for a feed. Benji used his skills and got us all discounted fucking meals which was an effort, so props to him and I met up with the security guard from my previous adventures! How fucking awesome was that? He remembered me and we spoke for a bit about how he's just been at Schoolies and the crowd was generally well behaved but there was lots of girl on girl fights (bullshit, not when I was there at least, haha).

We ventured back to the Mustang Bar as a quick stopoff to pick up/talk to one of Yank's work mates then went onto Birdies. Now because I had borrowed Yeatsie's shoes, this was my first time at Birdies and impressions are, it's meh. We eventually got in, after Kyle thought it'd be balls (yeah new saying) to tell the bouncers that he got in a fight (aka, I'm a grub and spilt Macca's all over me) and that's why his shirt has stains on it. After a knuckle checking and him taking off his shirt we went in and then the boys proceeded to get a few Tequila shots in them. We were just dancing around being tards as you do on the podium when Yank goes and drops beer number one. Haha. Kyle met up with some random chick who he used to work with at Kmart and then that's where the disaster struck. We lost her, then he wanted back in so we started our mission to find the long lost Kmart chick called Stacey.

It was a hopeless mission, we were tanked and had no fucking idea what Stacey even looked like, but like a good solider I kept looking. I even looked in the toilets, and that was where I struck out and needed urgent fucking wingman assistance! There was some random chick standing against the wall and I was like 'Hey, you don't happen to be Stacey do you?' She said no and I continued on to drain the snake then as I walked out I was latched onto by her where she then proceeded to dirty dance me, grab my crotch, and grab my hand and put it down her top. I was in all sorts of trouble! KYLE NEED WINGMAN ASSISTANCE. The call was heard and while I was being dragged off to be lap danced, much at Yank and Kyle's fucking amusement, this chick started to grind me (Sarah btw) and I was going 'fuck, um I'm spoken for!!' and 'oi fucking Kyle, WINGMAN'. It was terrible, well might of been ok if I wasn't spoken for, but regardless she was onto me like a fly on a wall. I managed to escape, but she tracked me down on the dance floor and continued to grope me and then pulled me back to the couches for another drunken lap dance. She was heating up (lol fucking I was just a panicking mess) and then tried to kiss me. If she thought she'd seen hard to get, she just got a whole new level, what guy after being lap danced, groped and allowed to grope turns it down, I do, cause I'm the motherfucking juggernaut. Haha. I turned my head and was like, 'nah, I gotta go, I'm spoken for'. Boom, didn't stop her, next thing me ear was dripping in saliva (well come on, she was pissed too). Kyle realised the urgency of the situation and dropped Sarah's friend and rescued me. Thank fuck for that. We got back on the dance floor and she found me again. I tell ya, she was on a mission, lucky for me, so was Kyle. He saved me again, and then we went on a recon mission to find Benji.

We found him, and hauled ass back to the Mustang Bar. We were there a bit then Kyle and Benji left and went home, so me and Yank picked up the slack and turning the drinking up a notch. First we headed back to Birdies and just danced around and took it easy in the beer garden. Yank being awesome drops beer number two, haha. Clown! We headed back to the Mustang Bar to get in just before lockout. We went straight to the bar and Yank managed to get the same bartender that was with Simon so he picked up TGFD 6th and 7th (haha, TGFDC: 7). Me and him were just chilling at the DJ booth when the DJ turned ugly, he gave me and Yank shit about being fucking twins, bullshit I say, fucking bullshit, and then I dropped my drink in the DJ box, hmm, music equipment and drinks, not a good mix. He was a good sport though and didn't get us kicked out, so we just copped some more flak about being ugly fucking twins then pissed off back for another drink. Some chick was eyeing us off, so we went and talked to her, keen to figure out what her deal was. She denied it and then walked off with her friends. Whatever. We danced abit on the floor, then fucking took retreat in amongst the bar after Yank manages to drop beer number three! Three fucking beers! We managed to have a yarn about that, arguing cups should have grip tabs so they are like those things you can put on your pencil to write neater or something.

Our funds were dwindling, so I managed to pull out some charm and score a free Canadian Club (TGFDC: 8) from the bar. We downed that, some random beers that were sitting on the table then owned the dance floor until the sun started to shine. As we left the Mustang Bar, high fiving the security (I'm going to be a VIP, just you wait) we went to some random kebab shop and got our blood alcohol readings tested. Yank blew .128 and I blew .139. Can you say fucked up? We needed out, and Amy, have you met Amy? She has stones, she is fucking awesome and is really just a cool guy with long hair. As sick as she was, and as tired as she was and despite the fact she had work for 10 hours, she didn't leave a man behind. What a fucking champion Amy is, she drove her ass to the city and pick me and Yank up from Dane, who was some country bumpkin who stumbled from Ipswich for a night out on the town. Haha, news just in, according to Yank we had a reputation going around as the hot twins (twins? wtf) and when we were waiting in the gutter these chicks walked paper and were like 'Look it's the hot twins!'. Haha, gold!

Fucking awesome Amy, from now on FAA, drove us home quick smart, even though I had a yack attack twice. FAA was cool about it, but didn't see the funny side of me being passed out face down on the side of some street while Yank was snapping photos. Haha. FAA got me home, where I then started to read the paper on my grass outside. Dad opened up the front door and said, 'what the fuck are you doing, get inside' and then I remember staggering up the stairs, and hitting the pillow and then I woke up and started typing this. Gold. OaO

edit rofl. I got a number too. I have no knowledge or recollection of it, but Yank just msn'd me and said, oi, you got a number too. Hope. I checked my phone and yeah, I now have a Hope in my phone. rofl.

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