For the past month or so I've been uming and ahing about going to Slayer. I like them, sure they make my head bang, but it was $80 and I had never heard the support bands before and noone wanted to go with me. However, today rolled around and I just clicked, fuck it, they won't be back and I want to see them and as many bands as I can while I'm still young. So off I went, alone to Slayer.

I left it fucking late, it was 5pm and the concert started at 6pm at the riverstage. Ticketmaster wouldn't let me buy online anymore so I had to race up to Sunnybank Hills in the beast (which is on the road again $170 later) and grab a ticket from Pick and Pay. Step one complete, next was the 130. A leftover copy of mX kept me entertained to South Bank where I got off, grabbed some Subway and a Red Eye Platinum to prepare myself.

There was plenty of metalfolk around, and being fucking awesome people, it's easy to strike up conversation. Into the grounds and Minus Life were playing and surprisingly there was a pretty decent mosh for it. I sat down and watched for a bit then thought I'd stretch my legs in the mosh. Good idea to start with, then I copped an elbow to nose making it bleed. Fuck yeah, battle wound!

Mastodon came on so I retreated back to the grass, they were ok, but didn't really do it for me, had a few cool instrumental sections. What I was most surprised with was this cool mum who brought her, I'm guessing 12-14 year olds to the concert and joined them in the mosh pit. That's metal

Slayer eventually came on and I ran into the pit like a school girl and got ready for a bashing. It was a fucking fun concert, lots of people jumping around and screaming and shouting, the crowd response was incredible. It was a fucking lot of fun to just interlock arms with a complete stranger wearing the same band shirt as you and just plough through the crowd. There was alot of sweaty barebacked dudes though which wasn't that pleasent rubbing faces with but then again, its all in the spirit of metal just like the topless chick on a guy's shoulders, and another chick moshing in just a bra  

I continually was whipped by this hot metal chick in front of me with her long hair as she headbanged but as it worked out we moshed together and then eventually I tried (and failed) at having her on my shoulders. I'm a fucking weak bastard so I have no idea why I tried, but I did and we both got fucked up. In the end she moshed on the bloke next to me and during the encore I got her number. Score

During the concert I tried crowd surfing again and got absolutely destroyed. The crowd got me up and then it just sorta parted and I made friends with the ground pretty quickly. As a result my phone is now fucked and I can't get it to turn back on. I'm hoping it was just the impact and a bit of sweat so she'll switch on great in the morning, but my luck is never good so we'll see.

To finish the night off I scraped a $1 off the ground and also walked some guys to Club Phoenix. I caught the 130 back to Sunnybank Hills, ran through the deserted, dark and somewhat scary (ha not for a metal kid... ) alley to my car. I'm rooted now and I imagine my neck will kill me in the morning, but so fucking worth it! Bring on Lamb of God!

OaO

Yesterday was always going to be a huge day for me, a day of reckoning to exaggerate. It was Friday the 13th and luckily for me I have 13 letters in my name, so it turns out I'm most likely to be fucked up by whatever superstitious curse that Friday the 13th brings.

It started with an interview at 1st Choice down at Browns Plains, I thought it went relatively well but obviously not as I haven't recieved a phone call or anything from it so I'm guessing I missed out. Never fear, it was time for the cosmic ball of energy to combine ready for The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I picked Danman up around 6 and the Chili jam began right then and there in the Chazza. Danman freaked out a few fellow drivers and passengers alike with his crazy singing antics! We eventually got to jess's and our energy was making her feel weird. Oh well, that's what happens Jess's Dad was ready so we piled into the Pajero and headed off to Boondall. Suprisingly it was that packed getting there!

We lined up and got some merchandise, I got a shirt for $45 and was considering a sweatband too but eventually decided it was time to head to destiny. Danman wanted to get there ontime so we could watch Har Mar Superstar. I thought he was shit, but man did he have balls and all up was an entertaining act. He coaxed the crowd into throwing bottles and random shit at him because they sucked, often mocking them. It was all a bit of a laugh really. We went got to the floor we were about 15 rows back. After some shuffling to find the best spot, me and Danman split away from Jess who found a friend from work to entertain her.

We ended up behind these two annoying surfer kids who just had there heads buried into their mobiles. After some sweet mexican waves and me and Danman's random reciting of lyrics, the lights finally dimmed and they filed out. The show was incredible, and me and Danman's singing powers were unmatched until we met the extreme dudes. If any has ever seen Harold and Kumar, just imagine those extreme guys, we had a about 5 of them in front of us and one of them was particularly extreme. He was a nut, and most probably on something as he kept shouting out 'I FEEL SO SEXY, SEXY' which was a little off the wall. He kept fucking pissing me off so I was keen to move infront of them but just couldn't, too extreme for me...for now.

The songs kept playing and the musicianship was fucking brilliant, John is a god on guitar and Flea's bass skills are unmatched. Chad did his best to look like WIll Ferrell and Anthony tried to look somewhat healthy despite his flu. All and all, me and Danman were rocking like it was 1999, then all of sudden we heard the bassline from Me and My Friends. This song is about 20 years old and is just fucking cool. Immediately I grabbed Danman and we interlocked around the shoulders and formed our cosmic ball of energy. We started moshing and screaming lyrics all while barging through the extreme guys. We were fucking rooted when that song finished, but managed to work our way like 3 rows from the front! It was fucking INSANE. None of the preppy girls knew the song and I think they were blown away by mine and Danman's perfect recitial. By The Way was also great, our cosmic energy caused the girls in front to shift to the side a little bit to give us our jumping space. I almost lost my glasses and I'm pretty sure it was this stage that I could taste blood, but nevertheless, it was the Chili Peppers and it was fucking amazing!

Me and Danman were really keen to hear Suck My Kiss so keep shouting it out inbetween songs only to have the girls in front go, 'Suck My Tits?, Huh?'. Tsk. The show carried on and eventually after being complety mind fucked by an insane jam, the encore came on, Under the Bridge and Give It Away. By this stage we were gone, but knowing we wouldn't have this chance again summon our cosmic energies and sung as loud as we could, well I know I did. Here is everyone softly singing Under the Bridge and I'm belting it out as loud as I possibly could. Fucking awesome.

We left the concert complety blown away and looking forward to the next one. Danman still had bundles of energy and was jumping all around the joint. We witnessed a crazy couple going absolutely fucking nuts at this car to 'GO FORWARD, FUCK!' for some unknown reason. He eventually pulled out, got to where he wanted and then waited there for at least half an hour. Tosser.

The journey home was relived thanks to me and Danman and green Powerade which tastes like liquid green sugary cosmic energy. Singing and dancing all the way home I tell ya, much to the amusement of other drivers.

Suprisingly I woke up this morning for work with a voicebox and powered through my four hour shift. When I got home Davo gave us a call to go to the coast and learn to surf. He picked up Yeatsie on the way through and we headed down to Main Beach via Maccas. The surf was shit so the board stayed in the car and my surfing virginity is still intact. Nothing much exciting down at the coast, just a bit of sun, surf and salt water

OaO

Well I'm off to a flyer of a start for the holidays, if it was any other time, I'd just call myself a beast slayer, because well, we all know the Chazza is a beast and it's four cylinder power is undisputed. It has carried us far and wide, many great journey's and experiences, including taking out a plover , chugging up the Gateway bound to Schoolies and well, a ship to rescue the drunken, but today a part of the beast died. Sorta.

It all started with Fingal, which I might add is in NSW (I'm blaming them, it's easier that way). I awoke nice and fresh at 5.30am ready to tackle a new beach with the usual crew of Benji, Kyle and Yeatsie. I had two coast cd's burnt, Best Of mixes, yes including The Unforgiven II and Summer of 69. The day was destined to be great, a fine start to the holidays, but twas not to be.

After picking up Kyle and Benji, we waited outside Yeat's house for the good old five minutes while he curls his hair, plucks his nose hairs and what not, when the Chazza just died. Idled to death. In shock, and surprise I went to start the beast up again, it sorta growled, almost saying 'Fuck you for waking me at 5.45am', but eventually it purred to it's slow rumble, only to die again. Eventually, like coaxing Ernie to leave The Shack with a stick, it started up and I took her on a victory lap. It survived. Yeats was almost ready at this stage, so we had a three course breakfast and then he jumped in the beast. All seemed well.

The epic journey was ready to proceed. Benji was talking usual sleep deprived shit, Kyle was seeping AGB and Yeats was just, pumped for beach. Tragedy struck. Cruising down Illaweena Street, the beast died... then came back to life. Scared by it's wavering loyalty, I wanted to run her around the block. I thought it'd be ok, no warning lights, she wasn't foaming at the mouth or anything. The beast seemed healthy, just suffering from PMS. Alas, it died rounding the bend onto Gowan and there she laid for the next hour, bruised and injured, weeping like a 10 year old boy whose Tonka truck fell into a stormwater drain.

Steam (or foam, I get confused between the whole beast to machine conversion), was seeping from under the bonnet. I opened her up and it seems that it's loyal owner had forgot about the necessity of oil. She was bone dry. I called Dad, he'd know what to do. Wrong, he's not the mechanic type, good with numbers, but not so much pets. RACQ was on the way though. After wishing we had packed a ball, or thinking of the possibility of retrieving The Shack cricket set we were passed by a Falcon load of Samoans. They were the only ones to stop and take a closer look at my dying beast. I guess they love animals too. I thanked the driver, and after a few 'bro's' later, they continued driving (probably to the beach knowing my twisted luck). Kyle's continual anal leakage kept everyone on their toes while we waited for the RACQ.

Enter Owen, RACQ mechanic for 15 years. I told him I was a twat and forget to feed her oil. After a bit of giggling to himself, he filled her with 3L of the good stuff, oil at $5 a litre. He warned me that I may of done her harm, the beast might be dead. Luckily it wasn't, she was just a little wounded, but it was serious. Turns out the first cylinder of my car is lazy and doesn't like to work (like someone I know) at idle. She only kicks into gear when the going gets tough, or going, either way. So turns out the beast isn't dead, just has lost a leg in the war against Iraq. I could blame Bush, but that'd just be exaggerating and the guy already has enough people whining to him, so I blame Fingal.

And yeah, I'm grounded until I fit her with a prosthetic leg, which looks like Wednesday at 1pm. So hoo-fucking-ray, Easter holidays going to be a blast!

Oh Cameron, I need another $15 for your Lamb of God ticket, the beast needed it, I know you'll understand, <3.

OaO