As the title suggests, I'm only typing what I can for the next five minutes, meaning that at 3.43pm, 17 minutes before I walk into the doors of Brodies, I'll press submit and whatever is written will be yours to read.

I done bits and pieces since the last time I posted, and rather then write a fantastic chapter on each one, I'll just list them:

• Attended a Forklift Course, all paid for by 1st Choice, although I'm yet to go back and get the actual ticket
• Attended a Beer Course, all paid for by 1st Choice again, although I'm not sure I passed the test
• Worked fairly consistent 30 hour weeks
• Stayed on track at uni, sorta, from the grades I've recieved I'm on two High Distinctions
• Got my first speeding fine, 71 in a 60 zone, $100 and 1 point thank you very much
• Got my second parking fine, $60
• Managed to catch another cold, in the third week of Spring..
• Started the coast trip tradition again, although I'm missing a trip right now
• Got absolutely smashed at Benji's 19th
• Scored myself some work experience next Monday, should be interesting
• Found a killer guitar website so that I can actually progress
• Got tickets for Linkin Park, Gigantour and Black Crusade and plan to get Maiden tickets next week

After my usual Saturday work marathon, I was conviced by Yeatsie to come into the city for some drinks. I really have no idea why I agreed to such a plan, I had worked 13 hours that day, and had another 8 to work on Sunday, but it seemed like a good idea at the time Dad dropped me off at the bus stop outside BP on Algester Road where I met up with Yeats and Cam. Kyle had bailed for unknown reasons, so it was just the threesome headed into the city. The bus ride was fairly uneventful, I saw a dude from primary school on the bus though which was pretty random.

Our first stop was Union Jacks were we started off the drinks. Cam found Shorty from high school and me and Yeats found Pinchin, Frenchy's girlfriend from Brodies. They had been in Europe for the last month, so we caught up for awhile before moving on to the Valley. On the way me and Cam were reciting lines from Night at the Roxbury, and kept saying 'Emilio!' and making the ambulance siren noise. Surprisingly, a group of guys found us and started finishing off our lines. Once they passed, we kept talking about it and then the next group of guys continued to finish the Night at the Roxbury quotes. Two groups in 5 minutes, what were the odds!

Walk, walk, walk and eventually we pulled up onto Ann Street, straight past the blondie at Birdies and then into RG's. Cam left me and Yeats here, saying he was off to get Amy from The Beat. Me and Yeats went inside and surprisingly, RG's seems like a pretty cool place to have a few drinks and relax. It was decorated with a snow theme, so there was foam all over the floor and the bartenders/waitresses were dressed in snow gear. We got some more drinks and sat on the furniture for a bit while Yeatsie tried to find his workmates, who were all out for Rooster's buck's night. I ran into a guy from primary school, Scott Liddle who hasn't changed a bit, just the typical grown older thing. Turns out the buck's party had moved onto the Cabaret Bar across from the Arena, so me and Yeatsie set on our way.

Just as we walked out of RG's, we bumped into Cam and Fisher who had joined the line. After some uming and ahhing, I decided to split with Yeats as we could get in free/cheap as his mates knew the owner of the bar. We walked down Brunswick rather uneventfully and reached the Cabaret Bar where we met up with his mates. $5 later and I was walking down into a velvet decorated bar. All the waitresses were completely starkers and some were damn hot. I was a bit shocked, felt a bit seedy, but a few Wild Turkey's later and I was having a ball. I meet all Yeatsie's workmates and we laughed at Rooster as he got a special show paid for by the group. He was tied to the 'naughty' chair and these two chicks danced around him, with the finale being a jug of ice down his jocks and then being completely dacked. It was priceless. I got on with the bartender well, she gave me an extra shot in my drinks and I tipped her with every purchase

Sitting down on the lounge, I was just in shock at all the nakedness walking around the place when suddenly one of the chicks mounts Yeatsie and gives him a show, it was fucking great. Next thing I knew I had my very own chick lapdancing me thanks to some group donations. It was a bit different from a lapdance, because you were actually allowed to touch..grab if you like, the dancer. After the dance, we started to get restless so after I apparently abused some random chick for insulting Yeatsie's mates, we headed off to some old territory, The Mustang Bar.

I remember now I started talking to random chicks with the perfect opening line, 'OMG I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL' and then launching into a hug. It worked on some, not on others. I managed to sober mode the bouncer and made my way to the tables to relax with the guys. I continued to talk to random ladies and eventually one was kind enough to return my banter for a good 20 minutes while the guys shouted me and Yeatsie a jug of beer. From what I've been told, Yeatsie had a schooner of beer while I sculled the rest from the jug, I don't even like beer!

We finished the jug and Yeatsie's mates had left, so naturally we headed to the dancefloor when who did we run into! Fisher and Cam were wandering in from the door, so we chatted quickly the continued to the podiums. For once, the music at The Mustang Bar was great. All rock, very few shit songs. Me and Yeatsie were having a ball. Eventually he got tired and had a sit, so I mounted the podium and continued to dance when I started eyeing off this girl, who I soon learned was Kathryn. We danced, and then something just fucking snapped and I had off the podium and smoshed against the wall making out. I remember looking up and just see the biggest fucking grin and thumbs up from Yeatsie and then we all returned to the dancefloor. Amy came from nowhere and joined in with all four of us dancing. Me and Yeatsie then did a synchronised sprinkler and shovelling while people sorta spaced away from us. Unusually though, girls were not repulsed, but seemed interested and amused at our dancing!

We returned to the podiums with avengence and attracted half a dozen girls to dance around with us. As usual, lame guys joined us on the podium, just sorta swaying and taking up space. I managed to wrestle one off then Kathryn pulled me down again and said 'Your a bit of a flirt aren't you' to which I replied 'I'm freaking hot right now so you just gotta prove why it's you I should be flirting with.' Fucking gold. She pulled me into an embrace, then I broke away with a sly grin and pulled her back up to dance. I was awesome, dipping and making out much to Yeatsie's and Amy's amusement. After awhile, I stole Amy and we did our awesome dancing together which I might add has come a long way since our first trips to The Mustang. I can now dip and spin without her slipping or being dropped

It was starting to get late and Amy, Cam and Dani had vanished, so I finished up dancing with Kathryn, swapped numbers and then set off to help her find her friend so I could leave. See, what a nice guy, I leave no chick abandoned. I found her friend and then just as I was about to head out the door, AC/DC came on. BAM, me and Yeats hit those podiums within seconds and had our air guitars buzzing with so much energy. We screamed 'You Shook Me All Night Long' at the top of lungs and were almost dead when we then realised the next song was Thunderstruck! Two AC/DC tunes in a row! The Angus hop was out, and we jumped around the place when what did I see? Some random dude making a move on Kathryn! I raged up, and Yeats did nothing to stop my Mean Girls style jump onto Kathryn. I jumped onto her, spun her around, dipped her, kissed her then whispered in her ear, 'Miss me yet?'. Fucking awesome. I looked up and the dude wandered off into the crowd, I had defeated him.

Again, I took Kathryn to her friend and then realised my Dad was ringing me, turns out it was 4.15am and he wasn't impressed that I had not returned home yet. 'YOU START WORK IN 6 HOURS! I AM PICKING YOU UP!' Heh, all good, me and Yeatsie trekked back to the Commonwealth Bank just outside Club Phoenix where we were picked up from our Buck's Night fun

OaO

With holiday's almost over, and Benji and myself working stupid hours that normally involves weekends, we took it upon ourselves to celebrate our last weekend before uni/tafe on a Wednesday. It was an ambitious plan with both of us coming off long 8 hours shifts but it ended up being on the best nights I've ever been out.

It started with us planning to get a decent steak for Yeatsie's birthday, but as the poor bastard has been feeling crook that plan sorta abandoned itself. Nevertheless, me and Benji decided to head into the city, have a steak there and then trek to the Down Under Bar to spend our weekend (on a Wednesday).

I was feeling the ji all afternoon with my 3 V's buzz and Benji was set for a fucking tops night too after his Red Eye and Vodka. When Benji got to mine, we had a few drinks and then I cracked out the special treat, Canadian Club Classic. It tastes fucking great and although it was for Benji's birthday, tonight was a worthy reason to drink from it. Yeatsie being the champion he is, said he was all good to drive us into the city, so after drinks, we piled into his beast and set forth on our adventure.

We got dropped nearly the Brewhouse, but as the call of the nature was strong we headed straight for the toilets. After visiting the ATM on the way back we realised it was a bit late for steak so we settled on a quarter pounder. Well worth it, such a great base for a night out. We walked down the mall and noticed we were the only people without jumpers (undershirts!) and that there seemed to be a giant game of soccer on between Korea and Australia (we think?). Benji needed a bit of life, so we stopped and he drank his Red Eye and then we were set.

The Down Under bar is just up from Club Phoenix and looks pretty small from the outside, but it wraps around and works out to be pretty decent. When we got in Benji had to leak, so I went to the bar to wait for him. Turns out I walked into the best thing ever, the attendant was like, 'Would you like a free beer?'. I thought about it, I don't even like beer, but FUCK IT, hell yes I said. I still maintain that beer tastes shit, but this was actually the best one I had. It was fairly smoothish going down, and didn't have much of a bitter bite to it, but I never found out the name of it. Benji returned and then I told of him my tale. He tried to repeat it but was told that they had just given out 12 jugs of free beer and he missed out. He settled for a Corona.

We found a seat and just observed the surroundings. Alot of different cultures and alot of talent, no matter what country you are from. We watched their big screen for awhile, blown away by the trippy film clips before exploring a little more. We found a pool table and decided to chillax with a few games. Enter two Sydney chicks. They wanted to play doubles with us, so we agreed, Laura and Kelly were there names. It was a little awkward at first, but being trojans we crossed many barriers until we were all great friends. They sucked pretty bad, but being good sports we turned many blind eyes to give the game a bit of longevity. Turns out they were up from Sydney on business so were just having a few drinks to relax, which was cool we me as they kept buying bourbons and coke for us and champers for themselves.

The music was pretty cool at this point, lots of great classics like Jump by Van Halen and By the Way spurred me and Benji to victory before we were challenged by two other guys. We accepted and I paired with Kelly, who was voted best chick player by Laura, to defend our table. These guys name's were something and someone, but in the small small world, the decent player was the son of the Dean of IT at QUT. Haha! We lost the first just. One ball! The next game would be our clencher, then the beginning of the end happened. Some other guys chucked their money on the table to play the challenger. Me and Kelly got to about 4 on 4, when the girls left to go outside for a smoke. Benji took Kelly's replacement and we played with so much fucking spirit that it came down to 2 on 2 when the fuckstains just sunk on of our balls and then went off to hi5 each other! I was fucking shocked. We looked at the other team and we agreed to sink on their balls too to make it 1 on 1. From then on it was fucked, the dude from America on the other team even said, in American, that's a fucking cuestick to the face. Instead we watched as the destroyed us with 2 great shots to win the match. Losing, we left the table and had another drink, as we waited for the girls.

Laura came back, they were bailing, so they grabbed their coats, gave us a kiss goodbye and left behind their drinks. I bit shocked, we decided to drink their champagne in their honour then head back to the dancefloor. The DJ announcer kept saying that a Wet T-shirt competition was brewing, so me and Benji started to feel the energy and were excited at the prospect of it. We ended up meeting another bunch of girls with a random guy with them. One of the chicks was smashed, the other was fine, she had been drinking but she was still soberish. The night starts to get a bit blurry here as we continued to drink and randomly make chatter.

I remember we created a train to travel from one side of the bar to the other which failed miserably because our driver wasn't awesome enough. Benji got talking with these girls really well, I was just starting to bob my head to the music and have a good time. We broke away from the girls to try and destroy Virtua Cop as we had the positions memorised from when we played the game on computer. Turns out we weren't as skilled on Advanced so got owned by the criminals pretty quickly resulting in our feeling a bit robbed, but we soon realised we were fucking having a great time all the same!

I remember having many a conversation with the different cultures in the loo. I think I declared war on the Germans when I was talking to some dude, but later on he seemed pretty happy with me on the dance floor. I was talking to a few Swede's as well and this Brazilian dude, all was great. The place was starting to get packed and then somehow the Wet T-shirt competition started and we were right in front of the thing. $200 and a trip to Fraser Island was the prize, but sadly only two chicks were game enough for it. Doesn't matter, they were decent enough. The comp was all in great fun, with the chicks rubbing, kissing, teasing as usual. We even got to see some tits when one lifted her top a little too far

After the competition I just stayed on the dance floor, moving and grooving while Benji was off with the females and the random dude I think. The night sped forward really fast then, I vaguely remember showing some guy who gave me the horns that I was wearing my Megadeth shirt underneath my clubbing wear. Props. Next thing I knew Jess had finished work and was in the bar looking for us as we were all pooling together for a cab so Amy could have a night of sleep.

Eventually we left, after Jess introduced us to some Brazilian dudes and an ex workmate of her's, Xavier who very kindly offered free drinks at the Beachhouse (wherever that is) next time I'm in the city. We piled into the cab, and enjoyed a lovely trip home with Darren our driver talking about rugby, big families and the southside. Survival instincts kicked in once the more sober Jess left the car and I guided Darren back to mine then gave him quick directions to Benji's.

And that is the end of my mid week weekend. Sofar me and Benji have had 100% success rate with our adventures in Sydney, New Years and now, the Down Under Bar

OaO

I haven't really done alot these holidays thus far other then work, which is a little disappointing but yesterday I managed to have a great day. I woke up to find that I had passed all my uni subjects, which is awesome considering I thought I was going to fail one, possibly two. My GPA dropped a little, I'm now sitting on 5.167 from the once mighty 5.75, so this semester I have made a decision to knuckle down and get the GPA nudging higher. I just worked out in my boredom that even if I average a 6 for the next three semester's the highest GPA I can get is 5.58 and with an average of 7, I can get a 6.08. Looks like I'll be flat out for the next year and a bit

After the results, Benji rode over, set his ipod to sync with my music then we headed out with my trusty Shell footy on our adventure. A few years ago I used to be heavily into BMX and it wasn't until Friday night when I was talking to a mate at work that I realised I missed it, so today I was keen to set out and hit up some old trails that were floating around. First stop though was for Benji to collect some monies for web hosting from Mark. I haven't seen Mark since high school so it was a good, quick, random catch up that involved some random banter about toll booths and clogging the Gateway with a synchronised convoy of cars paying in 10c pieces.

Once all was said and done, Benji collected his money and I pumped up my tires when hooned down Nottingham Road where we proceeded to race down the footpath... without pedalling. So basically this required us to act like cyclists and squat to get the most aerodynamic position. It was pretty even for a bit there, but then Benji's black bullet pulled away leaving me in the dust. We eventually reached our first destination at Ackama Street jumps, which are quite small and pathetic, and after doing the same thing a few times we decided to head to Parry (Paradise Road) to check out the monsters there.

Again, lots of random banter on the way, including why is a dog park built next to a primary school. I can just imagine a kid and Rottwieler facing off and which one would end up victorious. When we got to Parry there was this huge truck coming down the highway, so being the geeks we are, we pretended it was Optimus Prime and starting riding away and hiding behind this mounds of pebbles, dirt and grass acting all scared. Well I did, Benji just rode behind the rock and watched Optimus go past, I go off my bike and leaned onto the mound. The truck past, I grew up about 10 years and then we rode into Parry. The jumps are just fucking gigantic in there, Benji positioned himself for a few great photos then we started to explore the area.

There was these small path that led to a mini cliff with a creek running through the forest so was ditched our bikes and went off on an Indiana Jones trek down the path. The creek was a bit wider then I hoped, so I had Benji get his camera ready incase I owned myself into the water, but I managed to summon enough athleticism to jump the void and continue. We reached this clearing that was littered with rubbish.. and tennis balls. I took one as a souvenir then we started to climb this cliff face to see what was on the other side. Benji nearly destroyed himself by mounting up a tree which nearly collapsed and I managed to start the climb when we heard a mixture of noises. Voices, machines and like a whistle or something. I looked at Benji and then we bailed. I have never ran so fast I don't think, I was like an Indian jumping over logs and ducking under branches, I even cleared the mighty creek with one super jump before I stopped to see where Benji was. I just heard a splash, he had fallen into the creek I started laughing whilst he told me of the trail of destruction I left behind with trees and branches falling and dirt spraying up everywhere. We decided to leave once with retrieved our bikes and admired the view a little bit longer.

It was time to put the Shell footy to good use, so we stopped in at Col Bennet Park and started kicking it around before we started a game of forscee backs. Wow, how do you even spell that game, you know the one with the footy kicking back and forth to get past the point and if you catch it you can take ten steps towards your goal or bank it. That's the game we played after I taught Benji the rules. IT was good fun and we discovered how old and unfit we are. I was so close to winning but Benji's catching abilities gave him 30 steps which he used and then booted the ball home to claim victory.

Rooted and tired, we rode towards Action to get some supplies. On the way I called Mum to let her know I didn't need dinner as we had an awesome Sizzler plan brewing. Benji stocked up on lollies and drinks and then we started to great trail trek again riding towards to the back of these nursing homes. As we rode down the trail we passed a bunch of young kids all hanging around their bikes. We didn't think anything of it and continued to ride around and scope the area out. Bored, I decided to head back to where the kids were and these old school rocket jumps. I rode down the little valley to check out which rocket I wanted to do when disaster struck. I popped my tire somehow! The kids came over to ask if I popped my tire as they all did as well. Me and Benji sorta giggled for a bit here, 5 kids all with popped tires. Anyway, turns out that some fuckstains decided that placing spike strips at the base of the jumps would be a good way to protect them. Raging up for awhile, we threw the spike strips into the bush and then pondered what to do next.

We bonded with the kids for awhile, who provided much amusement. They scabbed lollies off us and told us weird stories. The mannerisms of one kid were fucking priceless and I'll never forget when I asked them all if they had tube repairs kits. Each one of them stood up proudly and was like "I DO!" and then they'd follow it with a dejected "but my tire is popped too.." before stepping away to allow the next kid to repeat the same actions. One grilled me about my choice of bike, so I asked him about his and replied "MONGOOSE, BECAUSE IT'S PRO". I cracked up. Benji and I asked if Action sold tubes to which the 'leader' replied, "YES, we could buy tubes, but we have no money...shit". You know when Napoleon Dynamite does his infamous 'gosh!' thing, the kid repeated that when he said '..shit', making it a classic moment. I called Mum in the end and she set off to retrieve me and the bike. To entertain us during the wait we watched these egotistical kids do some funky tricks and stuff off the rockets.

When I got home I jumped in Dev to pick Benji up to buy a new tube for my bike. On the way to Big W we cruised to The Smashing Pumpkins which is so old school and great chillout music. Once inside Big W we raided layby to find Danman there. Random banter before we left to get our tube because his boss was rapidly approaching. We then went back to layby where he processed our sale and then chatted to him about Sizzler that night whilst I ensured he gave me the biggest bag possible to put my tiny tube into. We managed to convince his supervisor to let him finish early, but then he was yelled at by his other one for not serving other customers. It would seem that a queue 5 deep had formed behind us chatterboxes. We left him to deal with the other customers and then just randomly sussed out other things in Big W to buy before deciding we should leave.

Upon driving home I got really bored and thought it would be fun to stalk this poor kid on his bike with the car. Eventually I pulled up level with him and then just let rip 'YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' and sped off around the corner. Benji nearly died in his sickness from laughing and choking. It was great. I drove straight past Benji's house in hope that we could find more random kids to suprise and shock, but it was getting dark so they were all inside. However, we did manage to find Yank's brother outside his house putting the rubbish out so we had a grand chat with him for a bit. His Mum came home in the end and as we were blocking his driveway we thought it was our cue to leave.

With Benji dropped home, I headed to mine and got ready for Sizzler. We had a fairly random group of people going, including myself, Josh, Benji, Cam and then Mel and Lynita, who we haven't seen in ages! Sizzler was great, food was good and me and Benji discovered that pineapple in soft drink tastes beautiful. It's like a fizzy fruity flavour, so damn good. Infact, so good that we have plans to create a Vodka infused pineapple. Adam came down to Sizzler after his ref training and had a feed and caught up with us. After we finished demolishing the salad bar, rumor had it that Boden and Kelly were at the bowling alley so we ventured forth to discover the rumor was actually fact. Everyone mingled for a bit as we watched two drunk guys attempt to put every ball in the centre down one alley. They got three racks through before management kicked them out.

I'm pretty sure that concludes the great day. In parting, go see Transformers, I have seen it twice and loved it even though I don't like, or know for that fact, anything about Transformers

OaO