As the title suggests, I'm only typing what I can for the next five minutes, meaning that at 3.43pm, 17 minutes before I walk into the doors of Brodies, I'll press submit and whatever is written will be yours to read.

I done bits and pieces since the last time I posted, and rather then write a fantastic chapter on each one, I'll just list them:

• Attended a Forklift Course, all paid for by 1st Choice, although I'm yet to go back and get the actual ticket
• Attended a Beer Course, all paid for by 1st Choice again, although I'm not sure I passed the test
• Worked fairly consistent 30 hour weeks
• Stayed on track at uni, sorta, from the grades I've recieved I'm on two High Distinctions
• Got my first speeding fine, 71 in a 60 zone, $100 and 1 point thank you very much
• Got my second parking fine, $60
• Managed to catch another cold, in the third week of Spring..
• Started the coast trip tradition again, although I'm missing a trip right now
• Got absolutely smashed at Benji's 19th
• Scored myself some work experience next Monday, should be interesting
• Found a killer guitar website so that I can actually progress
• Got tickets for Linkin Park, Gigantour and Black Crusade and plan to get Maiden tickets next week

After my usual Saturday work marathon, I was conviced by Yeatsie to come into the city for some drinks. I really have no idea why I agreed to such a plan, I had worked 13 hours that day, and had another 8 to work on Sunday, but it seemed like a good idea at the time Dad dropped me off at the bus stop outside BP on Algester Road where I met up with Yeats and Cam. Kyle had bailed for unknown reasons, so it was just the threesome headed into the city. The bus ride was fairly uneventful, I saw a dude from primary school on the bus though which was pretty random.

Our first stop was Union Jacks were we started off the drinks. Cam found Shorty from high school and me and Yeats found Pinchin, Frenchy's girlfriend from Brodies. They had been in Europe for the last month, so we caught up for awhile before moving on to the Valley. On the way me and Cam were reciting lines from Night at the Roxbury, and kept saying 'Emilio!' and making the ambulance siren noise. Surprisingly, a group of guys found us and started finishing off our lines. Once they passed, we kept talking about it and then the next group of guys continued to finish the Night at the Roxbury quotes. Two groups in 5 minutes, what were the odds!

Walk, walk, walk and eventually we pulled up onto Ann Street, straight past the blondie at Birdies and then into RG's. Cam left me and Yeats here, saying he was off to get Amy from The Beat. Me and Yeats went inside and surprisingly, RG's seems like a pretty cool place to have a few drinks and relax. It was decorated with a snow theme, so there was foam all over the floor and the bartenders/waitresses were dressed in snow gear. We got some more drinks and sat on the furniture for a bit while Yeatsie tried to find his workmates, who were all out for Rooster's buck's night. I ran into a guy from primary school, Scott Liddle who hasn't changed a bit, just the typical grown older thing. Turns out the buck's party had moved onto the Cabaret Bar across from the Arena, so me and Yeatsie set on our way.

Just as we walked out of RG's, we bumped into Cam and Fisher who had joined the line. After some uming and ahhing, I decided to split with Yeats as we could get in free/cheap as his mates knew the owner of the bar. We walked down Brunswick rather uneventfully and reached the Cabaret Bar where we met up with his mates. $5 later and I was walking down into a velvet decorated bar. All the waitresses were completely starkers and some were damn hot. I was a bit shocked, felt a bit seedy, but a few Wild Turkey's later and I was having a ball. I meet all Yeatsie's workmates and we laughed at Rooster as he got a special show paid for by the group. He was tied to the 'naughty' chair and these two chicks danced around him, with the finale being a jug of ice down his jocks and then being completely dacked. It was priceless. I got on with the bartender well, she gave me an extra shot in my drinks and I tipped her with every purchase

Sitting down on the lounge, I was just in shock at all the nakedness walking around the place when suddenly one of the chicks mounts Yeatsie and gives him a show, it was fucking great. Next thing I knew I had my very own chick lapdancing me thanks to some group donations. It was a bit different from a lapdance, because you were actually allowed to touch..grab if you like, the dancer. After the dance, we started to get restless so after I apparently abused some random chick for insulting Yeatsie's mates, we headed off to some old territory, The Mustang Bar.

I remember now I started talking to random chicks with the perfect opening line, 'OMG I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL' and then launching into a hug. It worked on some, not on others. I managed to sober mode the bouncer and made my way to the tables to relax with the guys. I continued to talk to random ladies and eventually one was kind enough to return my banter for a good 20 minutes while the guys shouted me and Yeatsie a jug of beer. From what I've been told, Yeatsie had a schooner of beer while I sculled the rest from the jug, I don't even like beer!

We finished the jug and Yeatsie's mates had left, so naturally we headed to the dancefloor when who did we run into! Fisher and Cam were wandering in from the door, so we chatted quickly the continued to the podiums. For once, the music at The Mustang Bar was great. All rock, very few shit songs. Me and Yeatsie were having a ball. Eventually he got tired and had a sit, so I mounted the podium and continued to dance when I started eyeing off this girl, who I soon learned was Kathryn. We danced, and then something just fucking snapped and I had off the podium and smoshed against the wall making out. I remember looking up and just see the biggest fucking grin and thumbs up from Yeatsie and then we all returned to the dancefloor. Amy came from nowhere and joined in with all four of us dancing. Me and Yeatsie then did a synchronised sprinkler and shovelling while people sorta spaced away from us. Unusually though, girls were not repulsed, but seemed interested and amused at our dancing!

We returned to the podiums with avengence and attracted half a dozen girls to dance around with us. As usual, lame guys joined us on the podium, just sorta swaying and taking up space. I managed to wrestle one off then Kathryn pulled me down again and said 'Your a bit of a flirt aren't you' to which I replied 'I'm freaking hot right now so you just gotta prove why it's you I should be flirting with.' Fucking gold. She pulled me into an embrace, then I broke away with a sly grin and pulled her back up to dance. I was awesome, dipping and making out much to Yeatsie's and Amy's amusement. After awhile, I stole Amy and we did our awesome dancing together which I might add has come a long way since our first trips to The Mustang. I can now dip and spin without her slipping or being dropped

It was starting to get late and Amy, Cam and Dani had vanished, so I finished up dancing with Kathryn, swapped numbers and then set off to help her find her friend so I could leave. See, what a nice guy, I leave no chick abandoned. I found her friend and then just as I was about to head out the door, AC/DC came on. BAM, me and Yeats hit those podiums within seconds and had our air guitars buzzing with so much energy. We screamed 'You Shook Me All Night Long' at the top of lungs and were almost dead when we then realised the next song was Thunderstruck! Two AC/DC tunes in a row! The Angus hop was out, and we jumped around the place when what did I see? Some random dude making a move on Kathryn! I raged up, and Yeats did nothing to stop my Mean Girls style jump onto Kathryn. I jumped onto her, spun her around, dipped her, kissed her then whispered in her ear, 'Miss me yet?'. Fucking awesome. I looked up and the dude wandered off into the crowd, I had defeated him.

Again, I took Kathryn to her friend and then realised my Dad was ringing me, turns out it was 4.15am and he wasn't impressed that I had not returned home yet. 'YOU START WORK IN 6 HOURS! I AM PICKING YOU UP!' Heh, all good, me and Yeatsie trekked back to the Commonwealth Bank just outside Club Phoenix where we were picked up from our Buck's Night fun

OaO

I had a fairly packed weekend, although sadly only about 4 hours of it was fun and exciting. It started on Friday night with work (5.5hrs), continued Saturday with more work (9hrs and a healthy paycheck!) and then surprise surprise, more work Sunday(9hrs) and SUPRISE Monday as well (4hrs).

Apart from working, I managed to escape to Kerin's house warming party on Saturday night, which turned out to be better in hindsight then I first (drunkingly) thought (and tagged). I was armed with a McK and was dropped off around 10 to meet with Kyle, Benji, Mudos and Yeatsie. The party was small, like 20 people, no food (except for the pizza cooked up by Shaun) and wasn't very raging. However, in true group spirit, Benji was the most smashed out of the whole party. I am positive now that at every party we go to we always have the most smashed being one of us. Quite a record, that's stretched back to Tiana's party through to Cooke's New Years and I guess now the house warming party.

I soon joined Benji in his drunken state and was chatting to Tamara (Tomcat) with Yeatsie for most of the night. She's a pretty cool chick from what I remember, even helped me look for a bandaid for my monged finger of death. The party sorta just dragged on, drinks were drunk, Benji got drunker and then Kyle and Cam had a blow up and they sorta just left. Benji disappeared and returned with a bike which he rode into the courtyard then tried to escape from the house with the bike over his head to realise the doorway wasn't as wide as expected so he pretty much owned himself good. He then got back on his bike, helmet backwards, seat twisted and managed to ride off down Algester Road

I remember little things, like talking alot of shit about Big Brother and then surprise surprise, Kristie Lee from Runcorn in Grade 8 rocks up out of the blue. Fucking shocked me for a bit. Next thing I remember was busting into a room full of peopel doing weed who were mellowed out and me just jumping in and strumming guitar. That pissed them off I think, I packed it away and then Yeatsie and I hung around out the front before he got us a cab home.

There we have it, an updated weekend amongst some pretty poor English.

OaO