After my usual Saturday work marathon, I was conviced by Yeatsie to come into the city for some drinks. I really have no idea why I agreed to such a plan, I had worked 13 hours that day, and had another 8 to work on Sunday, but it seemed like a good idea at the time Dad dropped me off at the bus stop outside BP on Algester Road where I met up with Yeats and Cam. Kyle had bailed for unknown reasons, so it was just the threesome headed into the city. The bus ride was fairly uneventful, I saw a dude from primary school on the bus though which was pretty random.

Our first stop was Union Jacks were we started off the drinks. Cam found Shorty from high school and me and Yeats found Pinchin, Frenchy's girlfriend from Brodies. They had been in Europe for the last month, so we caught up for awhile before moving on to the Valley. On the way me and Cam were reciting lines from Night at the Roxbury, and kept saying 'Emilio!' and making the ambulance siren noise. Surprisingly, a group of guys found us and started finishing off our lines. Once they passed, we kept talking about it and then the next group of guys continued to finish the Night at the Roxbury quotes. Two groups in 5 minutes, what were the odds!

Walk, walk, walk and eventually we pulled up onto Ann Street, straight past the blondie at Birdies and then into RG's. Cam left me and Yeats here, saying he was off to get Amy from The Beat. Me and Yeats went inside and surprisingly, RG's seems like a pretty cool place to have a few drinks and relax. It was decorated with a snow theme, so there was foam all over the floor and the bartenders/waitresses were dressed in snow gear. We got some more drinks and sat on the furniture for a bit while Yeatsie tried to find his workmates, who were all out for Rooster's buck's night. I ran into a guy from primary school, Scott Liddle who hasn't changed a bit, just the typical grown older thing. Turns out the buck's party had moved onto the Cabaret Bar across from the Arena, so me and Yeatsie set on our way.

Just as we walked out of RG's, we bumped into Cam and Fisher who had joined the line. After some uming and ahhing, I decided to split with Yeats as we could get in free/cheap as his mates knew the owner of the bar. We walked down Brunswick rather uneventfully and reached the Cabaret Bar where we met up with his mates. $5 later and I was walking down into a velvet decorated bar. All the waitresses were completely starkers and some were damn hot. I was a bit shocked, felt a bit seedy, but a few Wild Turkey's later and I was having a ball. I meet all Yeatsie's workmates and we laughed at Rooster as he got a special show paid for by the group. He was tied to the 'naughty' chair and these two chicks danced around him, with the finale being a jug of ice down his jocks and then being completely dacked. It was priceless. I got on with the bartender well, she gave me an extra shot in my drinks and I tipped her with every purchase

Sitting down on the lounge, I was just in shock at all the nakedness walking around the place when suddenly one of the chicks mounts Yeatsie and gives him a show, it was fucking great. Next thing I knew I had my very own chick lapdancing me thanks to some group donations. It was a bit different from a lapdance, because you were actually allowed to touch..grab if you like, the dancer. After the dance, we started to get restless so after I apparently abused some random chick for insulting Yeatsie's mates, we headed off to some old territory, The Mustang Bar.

I remember now I started talking to random chicks with the perfect opening line, 'OMG I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL' and then launching into a hug. It worked on some, not on others. I managed to sober mode the bouncer and made my way to the tables to relax with the guys. I continued to talk to random ladies and eventually one was kind enough to return my banter for a good 20 minutes while the guys shouted me and Yeatsie a jug of beer. From what I've been told, Yeatsie had a schooner of beer while I sculled the rest from the jug, I don't even like beer!

We finished the jug and Yeatsie's mates had left, so naturally we headed to the dancefloor when who did we run into! Fisher and Cam were wandering in from the door, so we chatted quickly the continued to the podiums. For once, the music at The Mustang Bar was great. All rock, very few shit songs. Me and Yeatsie were having a ball. Eventually he got tired and had a sit, so I mounted the podium and continued to dance when I started eyeing off this girl, who I soon learned was Kathryn. We danced, and then something just fucking snapped and I had off the podium and smoshed against the wall making out. I remember looking up and just see the biggest fucking grin and thumbs up from Yeatsie and then we all returned to the dancefloor. Amy came from nowhere and joined in with all four of us dancing. Me and Yeatsie then did a synchronised sprinkler and shovelling while people sorta spaced away from us. Unusually though, girls were not repulsed, but seemed interested and amused at our dancing!

We returned to the podiums with avengence and attracted half a dozen girls to dance around with us. As usual, lame guys joined us on the podium, just sorta swaying and taking up space. I managed to wrestle one off then Kathryn pulled me down again and said 'Your a bit of a flirt aren't you' to which I replied 'I'm freaking hot right now so you just gotta prove why it's you I should be flirting with.' Fucking gold. She pulled me into an embrace, then I broke away with a sly grin and pulled her back up to dance. I was awesome, dipping and making out much to Yeatsie's and Amy's amusement. After awhile, I stole Amy and we did our awesome dancing together which I might add has come a long way since our first trips to The Mustang. I can now dip and spin without her slipping or being dropped

It was starting to get late and Amy, Cam and Dani had vanished, so I finished up dancing with Kathryn, swapped numbers and then set off to help her find her friend so I could leave. See, what a nice guy, I leave no chick abandoned. I found her friend and then just as I was about to head out the door, AC/DC came on. BAM, me and Yeats hit those podiums within seconds and had our air guitars buzzing with so much energy. We screamed 'You Shook Me All Night Long' at the top of lungs and were almost dead when we then realised the next song was Thunderstruck! Two AC/DC tunes in a row! The Angus hop was out, and we jumped around the place when what did I see? Some random dude making a move on Kathryn! I raged up, and Yeats did nothing to stop my Mean Girls style jump onto Kathryn. I jumped onto her, spun her around, dipped her, kissed her then whispered in her ear, 'Miss me yet?'. Fucking awesome. I looked up and the dude wandered off into the crowd, I had defeated him.

Again, I took Kathryn to her friend and then realised my Dad was ringing me, turns out it was 4.15am and he wasn't impressed that I had not returned home yet. 'YOU START WORK IN 6 HOURS! I AM PICKING YOU UP!' Heh, all good, me and Yeatsie trekked back to the Commonwealth Bank just outside Club Phoenix where we were picked up from our Buck's Night fun

OaO

Firstly, the traditional Happy New Years must be said, accompanied with a thirty word or less spiel about how life is short and your only as strong as your weakest link so have a ball in 2007. Now that's out of the way, my new years could only of been bettered by having more mates enjoying the experience instead of all being spilt up across Brisbane!

All week I have been tossing up with what to do for New Years and I wasn't too fussy, I just wanted to be with all the group. It didn't go to plan as we had everyone off doing their own thing, which isn't bad, I just wanted to spend it with everyone. In the end, I decided to go with Kyle, Benji and Cameron to our mate's party at Ashgrove. It had promise, 60+ people on the invite list and MAXIMUM models were meant to be part of that list. So the night started at about 5.45 when Benji's nan picked me up carrying our supplies, a 6pk of Canadian Club and McK.

Kyle and Cam had started early, so they were almost finished their bottle of Canadian Club and were ready to start on their carton as we rocked up. We chilled here for about an hour, eating sausages and using our creative wits to invision new extensions for The Shack. Kyle's mum got home and within 20 minutes we were on the road to the party. With Kyle being heavily trashed, we are lucky the boat got to Ashgrove as his mum wasn't too impressed with him.

Eventually we got to the party and prospects looked great, for the first time in, forever, the chicks outnumbered the guys! With everyone's chances higher then normal, Cameron took one for the team when he loudly asked, 'Where's all the guys?' I think immediately every girl there forgot Cameron and replaced it with, 'Gay Fat Guy'. Poor buddy, no matter how hard he tried to convice them otherwise, his grave just got deeper and deeper. The night progressed, more people came and more alcohol was drunk and as usual the Runcorn boys took home the 'Most Smashed Award', something we initially won at Tiana's 17th at Cleveland and I don't think we have lost it yet.

Moments before 10pm I was informed by Benji that Kyle had called his mum (aka, our lift home) to get him because he was too trashed. I was dissapointed, it left three men on the boat and his was going to spend New Year's passed out at home. His mum called me saying she wouldn't be far away so me and Benji got him out onto the street waiting for his mum. When she pulled up we tried to put Kyle into the front seat and send him on his way. Kyle had other ideas and started swinging blind punches at me and Benji and just raged up in general. His mum had to stop the car and help me and Benji get him onto the back seat. Once inside the car he went nuts, like a tiger in a cage, then the drunkness kicked in again and he passed out.

We went back to the party and I think I ventured upstairs to raid the kitchen for food with Cooke. I returned with pita biscuits and then shared the love around. The night gets a bit blurry here, but we met Ms Black's daughter (teacher from Runcorn) and I met some stupid girl who I labelled as jailbait (fair call, 16yo at a 18yo+ party). This came back to bit me in the ass later, well to an extent, in hindsight I should of manned up and said suck it.

However, came midnight, I did come up trumps, with not one, but two chicks! Gold! It was the element of randomness as I don't know their names and didn't get any numbers. Perfect. 2007 started with alot of promise. After the hooking up, the girls ordered a taxi to take me and Benji into the Valley to continue our midnight romping. The taxi arrived, me and Benji jumped in and then our mate instincts kicked in and we bailed because we were leaving Cameron behind. The girls got snappy, called us gay or something because we were staying behind for the 'Gay Fat Guy'. Bros before hoes

We went back to the party, and then lost Cameron somewhere so spent the rest of the night trying to find him. Halfway through our quest, I was approached by jailbait's friends who were ready to flatten me for calling her jailbait. Was fucking funny, now and then. Who the fuck gets worked up over being called jailbait. Absolutely fucking hopeless, it's more of a compliment then anything but these dudes with shit for brains obviously didn't see that, they just let words fuel their 'oh so manly' fists. After Benji being a bit of a mediator, it all faded away and we proceeded to begin mission "Let's get the fuck out of here". We searched for Cameron for another 20 minutes, and although we felt like deserters we started to leave Ashgrove in favour of The Valley.

As we were walking away from the party we found a body lying in the gutter, low and behold, it was Cameron! He was wasted, he wasn't responding to any movements or voices. He was absolutely smashed and dead to the world. I waved down a car who just happened to be trying to find the party we were just at. In return for directions they helped us roll Cameron into the recovery position and then phoned the ambulance for assistance. Thanks to the ambo's giving us directions we managed to get him to wake up, sit up and then walk around a bit. We said our thanks and then united we began the trek into The Valley. Dozens of "Happy New Year's", 6.5kms and just over an hour later, we were at Brunswick Street mall where we meet up with Amy! Me and Benji decided to let loose a bit here, so we dumped Cameron with Amy and ran to the Mustang Bar.

We made it in with minutes to spare and then absolutely shell shocked that we were here, proceeded to get some drinks and just chill on the side of the dance floor. We couldn't believe what just happened, the night had gone from Ashgrove to the Mustang Bar. We completed both our plan and our backup plan in one night! I reconed a can of Canadian Club into the Mustang Bar, so after our drinks I was feeling really shitty. We grooved around for a bit and then headed out to the bus stop to get home. We couldn't be fucked waiting for the bus, so decided to grab Macca's.

This turned to be one of the best decisions of the night. The quarter pounder meal was the best thing I've ever eaten. So warm, so juicy, the sauce, just perfect and the chips! The chips were fantastic! It was heaven, sent down in little portions and packaged by Macca's. So damn good. Anyway, we got the bus home, I was a drunken fool but entertained people nonetheless and then we saw Dani's workmate Blake at the Casino bus stop. I don't think he knew who we were, but we were making alot of handsignals and gestures so I'm pretty sure he saw us!

Our bus finally arrived at Garden City to which we saw Cameron and Amy who was a little upset cause Loren ditched her and walked off. Drunken caring Brendo shined like a lighthouse and called in his Dad to pick him up and take Amy home. Benji did that same with his pa and before I knew it, I was crawling into bed with my bottle of water!

OaO

Haven't done a great deal this week, but nonetheless, I will attempt to create an insightful and interesting story that will soak up about five minutes or you time, give or take a few seconds where you take some time to contemplate whether it worth commenting on, which I'm guessing more then 90% will think along the lines of 'too much effort' or 'i have nothing to say'.

On Wednesday night I was pulled from my house by Cam, Benji and Danman to go the Shack. It wasn't much of a mission, I hadn't been there in a while and was keen, although due to being as poor as a cluster of bums on Queen Street and opting not to drink warm XXXX, I stayed sober and watched the night unfold.

Benji and I rode there, which was good. I keep forgetting how relaxing it is to pedal somewhere, wind in your hair and bugs in the teeth. I love it. While we rode, Danman picked up Kyle from Sheepstation Gully and then dropped off all the supplies (ice and booze) and walked back to The Shack. The night started slowly, so when Yank came to drop off more supplies (food), I went for a drive with him for Maccas. Despite the lack of bacon, the resulting food was heaven (and Danman's shout) and everyone continued to drink and before I knew it we were on the walk to the servo for the chicken rolls.

I fucked up somewhere back there so this was were I took my leave and left admist Danman flykicking hessian barricades and Kyle nearly walking off his cliff again. I rode home and had a pensive night before waking at 9.30 to start our coast trip. I was completed rooted from lack of sleep, but still managed to pick up Benji, Dani, Mel and Nat and head down the motorway to Main Beach. The surf was weird, there was a huge gully that was quite deep but allowed for wave free swimming, but then if you walked out across the sandbar there was a few decent waves to catch. Also it seems that it's now jellyfish season, the gully in particular was littered with baby jellyfish who stung Dani, Mel and Benji. The day was pretty good, and after scoring some free icecream and downing some chips and water, we headed home so I could get back in time for work.

Friday was a day of random driving thanks to Mel's shiny new licence! After having a bit of a sleep in, I become Mel's errand buddy which took us to the City for her glamour shots, which look pretty damn good I might add, and then to the Bank of Queensland for documents. We then had to head to her old work for more documents and in doing this, we saw two crows eating a dead magpie, very crazy and I'm not sure what sorta voodoo luck comes with witnessing such an event, but I'm pretty sure it's not the type that's going to get me a pot of gold complete with leprecahns.

I worked that night and then was conned to come out again to the 'vale with Benji, Yeatsie and Mel. Yeatsie bailed so Kyle filled in. None of us were really keen on the 'vale just kinda wanted to be out and about. After a meal at Macca's we headed for Mt Nebo to climb a fire tower which in my view is very That 70's Shoe-esque. Armed with no refidex we pretty much just headed towards Slaugther Falls and then got horribly lost. Mel thought she recognised the area, but a few wrong turns and 'where the fuck are we' lead us to Lake Manchester and Mt Crosby and to the party bus and zombie kangaroos. We ended up coming home along the Logan Motorway, so it was one huge loop. I got home at 2.30am, just 3 hours before I had to be up for work.

I worked 6am till 10, then headed home where Adam picked me, Benji and Yeatsie up and headed to the coast. Over the last seven weeks I've been to the coast at least once every week, so I'm proud of keeping the tradition alive for so long, but it has it's downsides, I was always the driver. With Adam driving, I was allowed to work on my passenger arm tan! The weather was fucking great, pity the surf wasn't though. Surfers Paradise is nice, but it's overcrowded, the surf is always mediocre and you have to pay for parking. Main Beach for the win. Although I suppose Surfers does an edge with being so close to eateries though. After getting snapped by shore dumps and being stung a few times we headed home again via the servo where Adam stocked up on fuel, food, drink and adult magazines.

The trip back was uneventful and before I knew it I was passed out listening to some Led Zeppelin. When I woke I was talked into going out with Yeatsie knowing that I had no money and with the promise that I would be shouted all night. Benji and Adam joined us so the four of us started at Yeatsie's place where he guitar wanked for a bit (he's a god) and watched some AC/DC and Strapping Young Lad DVD's. I'd just to take the next thirty words to say that Rumba is not too bad. It's cheap, seems like coconut and goes down really easy! I'll definitely trying it again soon.

We caught the 130 into the City and whilst on the bus started talking to some boys from Sydney who were up here for a good time. I felt sorry for them, coming from Sydney nightlife to Brisbane must suck, especially last night as the City and Valley were empty! We started at The Victory with Long Islands and Firetrucks. We caught up with an old mate, Davo and then headed into the Valley for some good times. On the way I randomly bumped into some dudes I know from uni, which was a bit surprising but fun all the same.

Our first stop was The Elephant and Wheelbarrow which I didn't mind, I thought it had alot of potential and with a few more drinks, slightly less repetitive playlist (The Killers twice in 10 minutes?), it could be awesome. I had a few drinks here and we meet up with more guys from Brodies and two of Adam's rendering buddies. I chatted to three 25 year old's about the amount of experience they could give me and how young isn't all bad for a bit, then tag teamed Benji into the fray and watched for a bit. We left after about half hour and headed to the Mustang Bar. The Mustang Bar was actually one of the few places that had people in it, so I was keen for it, but Benji was rejected for being drunk so we  after a Macca's run for soberity, we headed to the Basement 388.

Initial thoughts was that it was shit, but an upstairs level covered in pool tables, jugs of spirits and a live rockish band quickly changed my mind. It's a very cool place, great to chill with mates and overlook the street on the open deck! A few random phone calls later from Adam and me and we had Jess picking us up from The Mustang in an hour. We waited for Benji to sober up a bit, then tried the Mustang again. He wasn't allowed in, but I said I needed to find Yeatsie so went in and instead found Davo rocking out to AC/DC. I joined him for a bit then called Yeatsie to find out that we were now getting picked up from outside The Victory. Everyone had already left so I had to run like hell to catch them before Jess left. I made it! Jess got pulled over for random breath testing and a 'seatbelt check' thanks to Adam. Random singing and drunkeness followed and before I knew it I was passed out at Jess's.

I got dropped home at about 11 this morning and was asked by Yeatsie if I wanted to go to the coast. I rejected, I feel seedy and have work in 3 hours, but now looking outside I'm regretting it hardcore, the weather looks ace and some salt water sounds like just the fix I need right now!

And there you have it, my last few days

OaO